Why Naminé Isn't In The Organization
by KnightMysterio
Summary: I always wondered why Naminé wasn't the Organization's number XIV. This is my silly little idea why. Hinted pairings listed inside, rated T for some languange and innuendo. And yeah, I know the joke is overused. I still think it's funny.


_**Why Naminé Isn't In The Organization**_

_All characters copyrighted to… well, actually, everyone in this story is copyrighted to Disney, but the game itself was made by Square-Enix. I'm not making money off of this, I'm just doing this for fun. Don't sue me, please. Comments and constructive criticism is appreciated._

_This funny little drabble occurred to me recently and I had to write it down. Please be kind. _

_Also, there's a bit of implied Lexaeus/Marluxia, Saix/Xemnas, and Larxene/Vexen in here, but nothing even remotely explicit. In this fic, anyway…_

_++++++++++++++++++++++  
The Castle that Never Was…_

_Conference Room…  
+++++++++++++++++++++++  
_

The entire roster of Organization XIV members sat in their high mounted stone chairs. Xemnas, the leader of the group, sat in the center of the circle of thrones, his chair mounted higher than everyone else's was. He spoke calmly, going over the notes from the past few missions they had been on and giving reviews of their performance.

Xigbar sat casually in his chair, only vaguely paying attention to Xemnas. His eye drifted down towards the bottom of the conference room, where Creepers were busy flitting about, morphing every so often. He debated summoning his guns and using their sniper rifle form to pick a few of them off. These meetings were just so BORING.

Xaldin, in the chair across from Xigbar's, sat at attention, his element flowing around him as he clutched one of his lances. He was mentally reviewing everything the Superior had recently said to him about his last mission, and was trying to think of ways to do better next time.

Vexen sat next to Xigbar, the Chilly Academic only vaguely paying attention to Xemnas. He was loyal to the powerful Nobody, no question, but he had little patience for these meetings. He believed them unnecessary and time wasting, taking up valuable time for missions and experiments. Nodding occasionally to something Xemnas said, Vexen propped a notepad up on his crossed legs, idly taking notes on his experiments and jotting down ideas for new ones.

The immense Lexaeus sat across from Vexen, quietly listening. The former agricultural scientist looked disapprovingly down at Marluxia, who, in his boredom, was making flower petals flit around, not paying attention at all. He sighed, and decided he need to have a talk with Marluxia after the meeting.

Zexion, sitting next to Vexen, calmly sat there and tried not to be bored to tears. He reflected briefly on his boss, who could be intimidating and almost demonic in nature one minute, and boring as drab and dreary schoolteacher the next. He chuckled slightly, remembering a tidbit of his past as Ienzo, and that Ansem the Wise could be just as boring at times. Finally, Zexion could take no more, and summoned his weapon, an enchanted book that, in addition to its other variety of useful powers, also could manifest the entire text of any book Zexion had read in either his life or Ienzo's. He smirked softly and began to read.

Saix, the most loyal to Xemnas, simply sat quietly, listening intently and waiting for Xemnas to finish.

The fire-haired Axel shifted uncomfortably in his seat. _Solid marble is fine for looking badass and imperial, but damn, does it make the ass sore…_he thought as he tried to feign interest in what Xemnas had to say. He glared down at Marluxia, who was still playing around with his flower petals, forming intricate patterns with them which even Axel had to admit were sort of pretty. He debated shooting the colorful flecks out of the air, but decided against it. The last time he tried that, he had woken up with a man-eating Venus Flytrap in his room. NOT a pleasant experience.

Demyx had tuned out the Superior shortly after his mission review, which was fortunately for him, the first one listed. He had a notebook with him as well, only his was being held on the arm of his chair. He chuckled softly as he wrote down lyrics for a song he was composing.

Luxord idly shuffled his cards, debating on ways he could scam his way onto the Castle Oblivion investigation team that Xemnas was putting together after the discovery of their fourteenth member. The place was said to turn your memories and powers into cards, meaning that if you lost one of your memory or ability cards, it was gone forever.

It was risky. It was dangerous. It was the kind of chance he loved.

Marluxia took a quick glance up at the higher ranked members, and smirked slightly at Axel. He knew that the fire elemental knew better than to try and disturb him while he was at play. He looked further up the circle and saw Lexaeus glaring at him. Marluxia nodded, and let the petals drop to the floor. He smiled warmly up at the Silent Hero and gestured, his hand glowing briefly.

A rose grew out of the arm of Lexaeus's chair. The larger man blushed slightly and pocketed the flower, making a mental note to make the 'talk' a bit more pleasant.

Larxene, one of the only two females of the group, rolled her eyes. She hated the lovey-dovey stuff that went on between some of the members of the Organization. Give her a good old-fashioned guilt-free fucking anyday. She sighed, and looked up at Vexen, who seemed engrossed totally in his note-taking. Summoning one of her kunai to her hand, she tapped it idly on the arm of her throne, eventually lapsing into a pattern.

Quirking one eyebrow and smirking, Vexen didn't look up from his notes. He took his pencil and tapped out a response to Larxene's morse code request.

_Sounds like a plan. Your place tonight, just don't bring out any of your toys. I'm not into that stuff._

Larxene bit her lip to stop a giggle from coming out, and tapped out her response. _Spoilsport_.

At the opposite end of the circle, their thrones closest together, the two youngest members of the Organization sat, not even bothering to pretend to listen to Xemnas. One, the blonde haired Roxas, was staring off into the distance. In one hand was a sea-salt ice cream bar that he casually munched as he daydreamed.

Next to him, clad in a white cloak instead of a black one, sat Kixira. The blonde-haired young girl had been found in Castle Oblivion while Marluxia and Xemnas were out scouting the place, at almost the exact same time Roxas had been discovered. For a reason no one could discover, every black Organization cloak and uniform she put on would turn white. Vexen had eventually determined that she was different from the rest of them, but other than that… The others were willing to tolerate her. In a fight, she was near useless, as to do any battle at all, she needed to bring one of the draws in her weapon, a sketchbook, to life, and she needed time to draw it first, using the color changing marker pen that came with her sketchbook. However, her elemental ability, the ability to control and manipulate memories, is what made her useful to the group. And while she wasn't anywhere near Saix's power class, the other Nobodies were cautious and, in Larxene's case, hostile around her, as their memories were among the only things they had left. They didn't want the 'Memory Witch' taking away the last of their existance. This led to Kixira being lonely a great deal of the time, but Marluxia, Demyx, Luxord, and Roxas were always nice to her, and that was enough for now.

At the moment, she wasn't drawing anything. She was writing something. And when she saw what she wrote, she giggled. This caught the attention of Roxas, who looked over curiously. Kixira showed him what was in her sketchbook, and he snickered.

"Kixira. Roxas," came a deep, slightly annoyed sounding voice from the head of the room. Both young Nobodies let out a squawk of surprise and looked up, noticing that Xemnas (along with everyone else), was looking at them.

Roxas giggled nervously and sat back in his throne as Kixira gulped, holding her notebook to her chest. Xemnas sighed, and smiled pleasantly, scaring the two young Nobodies even worse.

"Care to share what's so funny with the rest of the class?" Xemnas said.

"Umm… Not really…" Kixira said.

Larxene glared at her. Xemnas sighed. "Kixira… Very little can actually cause emotional reactions in our kind. To keep a long-winded explanation short, since some of you seem to have short attention spans…" he said, glaring at Marluxia and Axel, who both flashed innocent looks to their leader, "…sometimes we need a laugh. So please, just tell us what's so funny."

Kixira bit her lip, and sighed. _Might as well, _she thought, _what's the worst that could happen?_

"Umm… Sometimes, just for fun, I like to try and rearrange all our names to see if I can come up with something funny. Like, for Xigbar, one time I came up with Bigrax…"

Xigbar snickered. "Hey, that's pretty good…"

Kixira, encouraged slightly, continued, "And… well… today, sir, I came up with something for your name."

Xemnas frowned. Something didn't feel right. But his curiosity got the better of him. "Oh really? And what anagram did you come up with for my name?"

Kixira gulped nervously and said… "Well… uh… I came up with Mansex. Sir."

Everyone went wide-eyed, staring at her.

"Mansex…" Xemnas repeated, his eyebrow twitching.

Demyx yanked his hood over his head and pulled it shut, trying to hide the fact that he was about to explode with laughter. Zexion buried his face in his book, his shoulders shaking as he tried desperately not to laugh. Axel and Larxene were both giggling and holding their stomachs, knowing full well that if they went any further than giggles Xemnas would probably kill them or worse. Lexaeus and Xaldin just stared at Kixira incredulously, as Saix just quirked an eyebrow at her curiously. Roxas was giggling despite the fact that Xemnas was practically staring right at him. Marluxia, who harbored a fatherly affection for Kixira, smiled warmly at her. Xigbar just lay back in his seat, his hand over his face, chuckling softly as he shook his head, muttering "You're so doomed, girly…"

Vexen, meanwhile, was biting his lip. He didn't want to say it. Really, he didn't. But sometimes the mouth just refuses to obey your brain…

"Well, that WOULD explain what you and Saix do during your late night meetings," he said.

Everyone except Saix, Xemnas, and Kixira cracked up with laughter, Axel, Larxene, and Demyx almost doubling over in their hysterics, Demyx's hood falling off. Saix and Xemnas both blushed, the former pulling his hood over his head, the latter quite literally fuming as he glared at Kixira, who was grinning nervously and shaking in fear.

Then Xemnas stood up.

Everyone froze, staring at their leader. Xemnas gestured, summoning a series of stone steps from deep below the chamber. The steps formed a pathway, starting from the footrest of Xemnas's throne and leading over to Kixira. Slowly, almost casually, he walked down the steps, his arms behind his back as he strode down to Kixira's throne. The other Organization members watched silently, wondering what Xemnas would do.

Shaking like a leaf, Kixira looked fearfully up at Xemnas.

Xemnas smiled warmly at her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder and causing the girl to flinch.

"My dear Kixira," Xemnas began, "Do not fear for your life. You are important to our goals, and while you aren't a fighter, your powers make you very useful to us. I'm not going to kill you."

Kixira smiled weakly, and relaxed a little.

Almost on impulse, Luxord shuffled his deck and drew five cards.

He got aces and eights. The dead man's hand. "Uh oh," he muttered, staring nervously at Xemnas.

The powerful Nobody's grin turned savage as he gripped Kixira's shoulder tightly and formed one of his lightsabers.

"But you'd be VERY surprised at what you can live through!" Xemnas snarled, bringing up his lightsaber to strike.

"EEP!" Kixira squeaked. 

_+++++++++++++++++  
An hour later…_

_The castle's lounge area…  
+++++++++++++++++  
_

Kixira, her Organization cloak in tatters, her body covered in slash scars, sat quietly in one of the couches. She didn't move too much, as the beating she had gotten from Xemnas left her in great pain.

Xemnas, meanwhile, was finishing off a speech. "…and as such, Kixira shall not be considered a member of the Organization, now to be known as Organization XIII. Normally, for her impertinence and insolence, I would turn her into a Dusk. However her powers and unique nature make her far too useful to our goals. Also, she is to take on a new name, as only official Organization members deserve to have the cool X anagram names. And on a final note, the 'M' word is not to be mentioned in my presence EVER AGAIN. The rest of you are not above being turned into Dusks. Got it memorized?" he said, glaring at particular in Axel.

The fire-wielder grinned nervously and nodded, the others making similar affirmative sounds.

Saix, ever-stoic and emotionless, stepped forward. "Rest assured, Superior. You shall never hear that offending name ever again. I'll make sure of it."

Xemnas nodded. "Good. See to it then, Number Seven."

Saix nodded. "As you wish, Lord Mansex," he said.

Everyone stared at him. Saix paled, realizing what he said. "Sir… I didn't mean… It was just a slip of the tongue…!!"

Larxene bit her lip hard enough for it to bleed. The setup was just too good, but if she said the joke that popped into her head just then, she ran the risk of getting a beating WORSE than the one Kixira got…

Xemnas gave Saix a hurt, betrayed look and teleported away in a huff. Saix, looking embarrassed beyond all measure, teleported away soon after, most likely to try and apologize.

Only when they were certain the both of them were gone did everyone start laughing, Kixira wincing from the pain of her injuries. Once they had calmed down, they all started to teleport away to their various tasks, soon leaving only Roxas and Marluxia.

"You gonna be okay?" Roxas asked.

Kixira nodded, wincing slightly and rubbing the laser burn on her neck. "My minion Nobodies are healers. I'll call them in a minute. You go on," she said, smiling weakly.

Roxas nodded, hesitating a minute and saying, "I'll bring you some ice-cream from my stash." He smiled and teleported away.

That left just Kixira and Marluxia. The pink-haired Nobody sighed, and sat next to her on the couch. "You seem to be taking this remarkably well," he said.

Kixira shrugged. "I've come to accept the fact that most of the people I'm working with are either deranged, evil, or both. Some just happen to be nicer than others. I'm not sure which I am, however…"

Marluxia rolled his eyes. "Evil? Simply because we want hearts of our own? What's so evil about that?"

Kixira shrugged again, and summoned her sketchbook. "It's just the way we go about it, that's all… I remember what I did on a mission a few days ago… I knew it was wrong… I just couldn't bring myself to care…"

Marluxia frowned, and then sighed, kissing her on the forehead and making a lily grow in the flowerpot on the table. "I wish I could help you on that point," he said, plucking the lily and placing it in Kixira's hair, "But without a heart of my own, I quite honestly don't know what to say. All I can ask you to do is trust me when I say that Xemnas will pay for his crimes in time."

Kixira smiled slightly, but didn't look up from her sketchbook. "If you say so…"

Marluxia sighed, and shrugged helplessly. "Well. There's still the matter of your new name. Do you have any preference?"

Kixira looked thoughtful for a moment, and said, "Well… I don't remember all of my Somebody's life… But I do remember a story, about a princess who lived in a castle in the sky… Her name was Naminé…"

Marluxia smiled. "Naminé… I rather like that…"


End file.
